Withnail: “I think we’ve been in here too long. I feel unusual.”
Looking for a hilariously unique gift this holiday season? Well, just remember to say:
“We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”
Yes, time to get the film fan in your family a combo pack of Richard E. Grant! This terrific British Actor was not only in one of the funniest films ever – “Withnail & I” – but he wrote a hilarious insider’s look at the crazy world of Hollywood – “With Nails!”
Let’s begin with one of the best British films of all time – a bold statement, but it is, to me, one of the most perfectly realized films ever:
Withnail & I
London 1969 – two unemployed actors, Withnail and Marwood, are freezing in their unheated flat – and they are flat broke. They need a plan, and fast. Here is their discussion about calling to ask someone for money…
Marwood: What about whatshisname?
Withnail: What about him?
Marwood: Why don’t you give him a call?
Withnail: What for?
Marwood: Ask him about his house.
Withnail: You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house?
Marwood: Why not?
Withnail: All right. What’s his number?
Marwood: I’ve no idea. I’ve never met him.
Withnail: Well neither have I. What the fuck are you talking about?
One of the funniest supporting characters in the film is “Drug Dealer Danny”, he of the super-sized spiffs, who just can’t get along with Withnail…oh, and he is CRAZY…
Danny: I don’t advise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Hairs are your aerials. They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into the brain. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight.
Withnail: What absolute twaddle.
Withnail: I must have some booze. I demand to have some booze!
The scene where Withnail guzzles lighter fluid is a highlight….he does, after all, demand to have his booze…he has also greased his body up with muscle relaxant to get warm…
Withnail: [after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation] Have you been at the controls?
Marwood: What are you talking about?
Withnail: The thermostats. What have you done to them?
Marwood: I haven’t touched them.
Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb?
After a near brawl in a bar, they realize they need to get out of town…
They decide on a holiday in the countryside, courtesy of Withnail’s uncle Monty’s country cottage. But when they get there, it rains non-stop, there’s no food, and their basic survival skills turn out to be somewhat limited.
Matters are not helped by the arrival of Uncle Monty, who shows an uncomfortably keen interest in Marwood…
Uncle Monty: “I adore you. Tell him if you must, I no longer care. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary!”
Sadly, Richard Griffiths just died of complication following heart surgery. He was 65, and although most will remember him for his roles in the “Harry Potter” films, it was his Uncle Monty that I will always remember him for…
This movie is hilarious, and a perfect snapshot of life at the end of the 60′s – when hip, mod London turned into the cold, harsh reality of life as a struggling Actor.
This is a tour de force performance by Richard Grant, who exudes manic, crazy charm at every turn, such as when he storms into a fancy restaurant and demands, well…
Withnail: “We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!”
Richard E. Grant proved to be a hilarious and honest writer as well!
With Nails – The Film Diaries Of Richard E. Grant
If you want to read all about the craziness that goes on when you make a movie – the egos, the out of control Stars, the drugs, booze and everythign else – then this candid and hilarious book is for you!
Here is the original review from BOOKLIST:
Film fans alert to the immense charm of the under-known British film Withnail & I will certainly enjoy the droll autobiography of the actor who played Withnail. Of the film’s script, Grant says “never before or since have I read something that conveys what goes on in my head so accurately.”
The image of the brusque, hilariously overbearing Withnail fits Grant, who has also appeared in “Bram Stoker’s Dracula”, “The Age of Innocence”, and the Robert Altman films “The Player” and “Pret-a-Porter”.
He writes of his passage through the world of the aspiring film stardom wonderfully well, producing a book far superior to the usual movie life story. “Oh up and down and forklifts, this is a dull madness,” he says of the process of landing a role, but his book wittily presenting the madness is never dull.
Let me tell you, his stories about Bruce Willis and the making of “Hudson Hawk” are hilarious – it is “no holds barred” storytelling about the crazy world of movies…
This would make a great combo gift for the holiday – “Withnail & I” and “With Nails”!
